Safeguarding Adults Week | Day Four
Day Four
Why I Hoard
Someone asked me about when I started hoarding. The truth is until recently, I hadn't spent any time really thinking about it. I just knew that i was struggling to stay on top of my property condition, and it was causing an issue with my social housing landlord. It wasn't until I attended a recent conference, where I was invited to attend as a "Lived Experience" Guest, that I had a revelation about the "why" behind my hoarding.
As I've started learning more about what hoarding means and why I hoard, I tried to think back to my family history - did any of my family hoard? I was an untidy child, but my brothers, sisters, and late parents didn't hoard (I don't know about my grandparents as my mother had me late in life.)
I started to realise that my hoarding really started following a string of four deaths in my family. These deaths had a huge impact on me - something I never recognised as a trigger for hoarding. I realised it was my past which is affecting my future.
As a single person, my first flat was absolutely fine, but then something changed. I came out of an abusive relationship which really messed up my mind.
I've come to realise that I live in a cluttered property because if I ever started a relationship with a man, I know he would not stay because of the mess. I am in control, and it is a way of protecting myself. I live like this because it makes me feel safe.
Member of Bringing Hoarders Together (BHT)